Why God did not get tenure:

1) He had only one major publication
2) It had no references
3) It was not published in a refereed journal
4) Some even doubt he wrote it himself
5) It may have been true that he created the world,
but what has he done since
6) His cooperative efforts have been quite limited
7) The scientific community has had a hard time duplicating his results
8) He never applied to the Ethics Board for using human subjects
9) When one experiment went awry he tried to cover up his
mistakes by drowning the subjects
10) When subjects did not behave as predicted, he delete
them from the sample
11) He rarely came to class, but told students to read the book
12) Some say he had his son teach the class
13) He expelled the first two students for learning
14) Although there were only ten requirements, most students failed his tests
15) His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountaintop.